Whilst Reading for my Masters

Whilst doing some reading for my masters I came across an article that blames porn for ruining sex expectations. It claims that the images portrayed have effected how women and men expect sex to be. Women expect men to be sex Gods (and some of them are) and men have unlikely expectations of women. A lot of articles about the effects of pornography on young children are damning, it portrays women and men in an unrealistic light. It sets high expectations of sex lives; this can be compared to how romantic films set high expectations of what romance should be. 

Growing up with films like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, then we get older with films such as Tangled. Where a damsel is in distress and a handsome Prince saves the damsel, it'll start with once upon a time and always end happily ever after. Unless you're Kate Middleton then this framework will be wrong or just a disappointment.

As we move away from Disney films and from reflecting onto personal experience I went into the Twilight Saga and romantic comedies, where the bar of romance is set even higher. In a previous blog post I wrote about going to see the complete Twilight Saga in the cinema leading up to the last film. In summary after three films I was feeling rather depressed about how tame my love life seemed in comparison to Edward and Bella. It took a while to come back down to earth and grasp that it was just a film, their story was not real and I shouldn't be feeling depressed. 

But, it does seem that the genre of romantic comedies, or just romance, build you up to the great idea and hope of romance. This seems to be in stark comparison with how porn can build up ideas of expectations of a sex life. I'm pretty sure I could flick through my film collection and list a selection of films where love concurs all. Has this set an unrealistic expectation for my love life? Is this why I like all the romantic films, because they set an idea of something to aim towards? 

There are media models about the dangers of violence in films, but little concerns about the danger of unrealistic romance in films. Maybe I'm giving films more credit than they are worth; maybe I should be able to detach myself away from the stories. However, in my defense, aren't good films the ones that captivate you, ones that you can lose yourself and your imagination to?

The Hollywood portrayal makes everything seem shiny, perfect and easy. The relatively new TV series 'Girls' actually shows realistic relationships between friends and boyfriends. With non-perfect sex scenes as well as realistic arguments between boys and girls, and girls and girls. This series feels like it is helping to break the expectations, yet this is only one show, where other shows such as ‘Sex and the City’ or ‘Gossip Girl’, have only exaggerated these views of expected romance.

I am in relationship with someone who makes me happy and treats me really nicely. I do think that roles in romance films have given me higher expectations which probably are never going to happen. It can be argued that, porn, has set similar hope, are people who watch porn able to distance themselves from the impending let down. Just as real life relationships aren't as glamorous as those in films.